I don't want anyone to see me crying because I don't want them to think that I'm a wuss or that I can't take care of myself or that I'm stupid somehow. What are your reasons for sucking up your tears? Has someone made fun of you before when you let them fall?
I think my brothers and my father made me feel like I couldn't do that. I so much wanted to be accepted by them and for them to think I was as good as them---you know---brave and adventurous. So even as a little girl when I got hit in the head and my scalp started bleeding, I wouldn't show how much it hurt. I stopped those tears like my life depended upon it.
That was when I was 6 years old. To this day, I still have a hard time showing when I'm hurt or scared or showing my vulnerability. What about you?
I'm starting to learn that when I do let go and cry, it's a great way to relieve my stress. Moreover, it's a way to acknowledge that I'm alright not being perfect. I accept myself with all my flaws and humanness even if no one else does.
My "Ghost Tears Girl" drawing is finished. I am actually surprised how beautiful she turned out. Thanks for taking this journey with me and following along the work in progress. If you enjoyed this, take a look at more of my artwork here.