Lately, I've been having a hard time with myself. Have you ever had a period of time where you just couldn't figure out how to feel better; you lost your reason for being; you felt dead inside? Well, that's what's been happening to me. I did some rash things to try to get out of my funk and find my mojo again like deleting some of my social media accounts, including Facebook and Instagram. Here were 3 reasons I decided to go black and withdraw into my own space:
1.) PEOPLE NOT USING FACEBOOK ARE LESS DEPRESSED:
Yeah, you've heard this before, right? It's because you don't compare your life with the happy looking lives of those filtered/edited images that people share on social media. You stop feeling inadequate compared to everyone else. In fact, you just forget about everyone else and start taking care of yourself. That is what I've been trying to do. And guess what? After the third day of going without any social media, I felt a lightness that I hadn't felt in a long time.
2.) I NEEDED TO WITHDRAW:
Yeah, I was feeling terrible. I would come home from work and just lie on the floor and cry. I'd gaze up at the ceiling and let my tears soak into my carpet. It doesn't get much more depressing than that, unless we're talking about actual suicidal plans. But sometimes, withdrawing and letting go of everything can give you space and time to fall apart and then put yourself back together again. I was hoping for that. I just wanted to be with myself in my disquieting solitude, without any social media. I wanted to figure things out and feel my way through this terrible heaviness.
3.) I DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD NOTICE:
Honestly, I figured the world would go on without me. I often felt ignored on social media and didn't figure anyone would even know I'd withdrawn and deleted my accounts. Maybe, most people haven't noticed. Maybe, my words here won't ever be read. But a few days ago, I got a message from a friend who was trying to find my Instagram account. She thought she forgot my IG handle and somehow got disconnected from me. I told her that she couldn't find me because I wasn't there anymore. Yeah, my friend noticed and that's all that really mattered.
Like I wrote above, I'm starting to feel better. I'm still on twitter, if you really want to follow what's happening with me. And I'm still writing this blog for all it's worth.